My mission to not get picked for jury duty was a total success!
So I thought I would lend my tips to my other civic duty shirkers!
First consider where you live and what "type" of community it is.
Mine is Super conservative, rich, republican, stick up the but hard core Southern Christian extreemists.
So yes this was not too hard for me. :)
First I consulted the top minds in the Nail world...MUA Nail board, to determine a perfect don't pick me manicure. Most felt that bright, tacky and bling would do the trick. I added my own twist.
I used a base of Golden Rose Paris Holographic #102
Middle finger I did a base of Bloom Mena (Thank you sooooo much Jacie)
Then I stamped some random and lovely blood spatters using Konad special polish red and my Hot topic fauxnad image plate. Restamping the small splats randomly.
Is there anything prettier than blood splater on holo?
On my middle finger I added a coat of my beloved Wixbetty franken Sexy Scarlet Stilettos.
I am in love with this manicure!
Next Make sure that your youngest child is sick and keeps you up until after 4am.
If you don't have a small child I am happy to loan one.
Oh and you must have an Earthquake an hour after the screaming child allows you to sleep.
(Don't worry my summers in LA had me having flashbacks and I ran straight for my nail polish closet)
No worries it was only a tiny 3.3 right under my town. Go figure I would find the one place in the mountains of TN that has friggin' Earthquakes.
You want your eyes nice and red
add puffy and huge dark circles.
Now you'll want to dress for the occasion. Unfortunatly they send rules so this was not fun enough to take pictures. I just wore my studded ballet flats, black capri's(with my studded belt) and my black studded top.
Makeup is very important, you want to make a
frightening good first impression.
Go for bright bold colors that can be spotted from a good distance. Go extra heavy on that smokey eye or the eyeliner whichever makes you feel pretty.
I used ES Neritic (which is a peachy pink, stuip colorblind camera) and Glooming for the outer v and upper lash liner, my camera did not pick up the awesome aqua sparklies that rock like nobodies business. Mind you I was comatose when I applied so pardon my craptastic application. Phyrra look away hun, I don't want to traumatize you.
And if you are working on two hours of sleep you might luck out like I did and have absolutly no symetry at all. I'm just good like that! I think I was asleep when I blended and we are not commenting on the brows. umkay!
Final touch, you must wear pigtails so that you brand new 3 gray hairs show as well as the 6 inch wide section in the back of hot pink. Not to mention that at 36 years old it makes you look like you are confused about your own age. :) (Damn it I love my piggy tails and Chris says they are
Remember to accesorize with your dog collar choker and handcuff earings.
And when they call you yawn as you are walking to the interrogation chair.
Plop down your giant studded Demonia purse that weighs more than your youngest child.
While the Judge and attorneys are consulting glop on more lip gloss.
(ES Primrose path lippie and a tiny dab of Lillian's light gloss)
Then you might notice the two attorneys looking oddly at you and making head motions.
Then the clerk comes and says that you are excused!
What no questions? I was prepared for questions damn it!
Do your best innocent face as you skip to your car!
(P.S. don't mind my fancy robe, I immediately put on my jammies when I got home)
Well my Lovies there you have it. I do hope this helps you out in your time of need.