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So sick of it!

(I am not taking sides in the "big drama" that happened so anyone who tries to twist it in that way is wrong)

I initially had written and was going to post a factual plea to end the drama....
Something changed my mind
A blatant, public attack on one side of the initial private disagreement was posted by an irresponsible "blogger" whom has continually rehashed, reopened, drug out publicly and perpetuated the situation even though the 2 individuals actually involved (from what I've seen) have both stopped.
This person posted on her blog posted screen shots blocking one side of a conversations information and picture but displaying the others name and picture. That to me shows her one sidedness in something that never should have been made public as well as her intent to cause harm and damage to another person. She has displayed this persons business name claiming that in essence if you own a business you have no right to privacy, personal feelings but must always be in business mode. I call crap!

This very likely will hurt my business and until this I remained silent to protect what I
have worked so very hard for. Most of those who have taken sides are bloggers some likely have recent orders with me, one I honestly expect to blatantly give my company a bad review no matter what she truly think of my products. So why am I with so much to lose going to speak up? If you know me then you likely are more surprised that until now I hadn't. I am speaking out for those who are afraid of losing their business, their followers, their reputation, being slandered, harassed and ruined. No I can't afford to lose business, this is the sole support for my family. But more importantly I cannot stand by and say nothing while the Indie industry is being hurt, other human beings are being dragged through hell and still look my family in the face know that I did nothing. You know me better than that, I am not a coward! And I will be damned if I will tuck tail and run out of fear. I am actually disappointed in myself for not speaking up before....I am ashamed to admit that I was trying to protect my business when I should have done what I knew was right from the beginning. For that I truly apologise to you and to myself.

Before I get way deep in drama poo I want to address one thing.
Someone, I don't recall who nor does it matter to me, Made a comment that they didn't think other Indie owners should be involved in the group. I want to address this most definitely. Instead of a generalized statement this person should have,if truly concerned, asked why some Indie owners were involved. I am going to answer. Some Indie owners were friends with Jasmine and terribly hurt to find out that they had shared intimate details of their personal lives with someone that turned out have lied to them about serious illness, disease, deaths and tragedies that we now know were all lies. Some Indie owners were customers and concerned about someone of highly questionable ethics having their personal information. And yes some (i don't personally know every Indie owner) like a lot of other people were there to see what was going on.

Why was I personally involved?
Jasmine started following me on Twitter over a year ago, I paid no attention since I am also a blogger.
Then she started talking to me. She claimed to be at first half Blackfoot. You all know I am (I hate putting it this way) "part" Blackfoot. I asked her about her family, long story short...within a couple of weeks I was told 3 different stories on her family, 2 different names and then she was suddenly fullblood. I am no idiot, I knew she was bold faced lying. I checked with council and IA and none of the information she gave were in any manner a part of the Blackfoot tribe. I asked her about her CDIB or registration card. The story changed again to oh well my parents moved away from the reservation a long time ago and don't have anything to do with that, they don't have anything to do with it so I'm never got my card. Another lie. I said nothing, I felt it was pointless. Shortly after she was having a convo on twitter, I had my feed on but had not been talking, she was talking about being Blackfoot (she was back to half). This conversation was about how people were so cruel to her when she was a kid and how people didn't believe that she is native because she has curly hair and how the Blackfoot do have curly hair. Not  true, unless they are mixed and that side has curly hair. She continued by starting to name a couple of musicians that she said are full blood Blackfoot and have curly hair. Now I will admit at this point I just plain lost my temper and I called her on it. She unfollwed me on twitter, I unfollowed her and in my world it was done. Within a few days I got an email from a blogger asking if I had anything to do with people unfollowing HV? I'm sorry, what? No why would I waist my time and why would I care? I answered and let it go as whatever. Now over the last year I have gotten emails informing me that another Indie (always HV) had duped several of my colors or lip colors, had withing a few weeks of a new line something exactly the same. She has made attempts at ripping off some of my formulas and over this time I have gotten several emails from anonymous people informing me of Jasmine accusing me of everything from repackaging to her asking bloggers to give me bad reviews.
So there you have it, I was there because this person intentionally and knowingly
was damaging or attempting to damage my business. I have caught her so many lies over this time but felt I could say nothing for fear of being mobbed by people who she had lied to and were convinced of serious health conditions, multiple deaths and tragedy after tragedy. I would have looked like a total ass accusing the poor dear who is so sick and just lost her husband. (which by the way just happened to be when people were questioning her about ripping off my primer formula) I saw through her early but I paid attention because I felt the need to watch my back. There is a lot more but in the end I was there because I had every right to be there, Jasmine and her lies had affected me as well. So I am in the group because I have a right to be there. Do you?

Getting to the points I have to make
 Fact- It came out a few days ago that High Voltage cosmetics had some less than stellar business practices and soon it came out that due to her forming "friendships" with a lot of people there were a lot of lies, deceptions and manipulations both in business and personal situations.

Fact- the conversation was moved from a public place (Twitter) to a private chat because no one wanted to unjustly defame Jasmine/High Voltage. In the chat we (yes I was part of the twitter convo and initial chat) started unraveling a lot of lies and deceptions. Still no one felt like it should be a public situation. It was decided to make a PRIVATE face book group where all those affected could go and out of the public eye vent, share experiences, piece things together and safely support each other without scrutiny. (Group therapy via private group in a sense)

Fact- There were mistakes made. People were so emotionally charged that no one thought to set ground rules or post what the purpose of the group was. People were requesting to join and being invited in so fast and so much was being brought to light and emotions kept flying. We (yes I take responsibility for not thinking ahead) never thought about how all these new people had not been part of the initial convo or the chat and that they might not understand the purpose of the group. (Huge mistake but it cannot be corrected unless someone has a time machine) However it was/is a PRIVATE group....so how anyone would misunderstand that is beyond me. It said private and to join you had to either request to join or be invited.

pri·vate (prvt)

adj.
1.
a. Secluded from the sight, presence, or intrusion of others: a private hideaway.
b. Designed or intended for one's exclusive use
2.
a. Not available for public use, control, or participation: a private club; a private party.
b. Not for public knowledge or disclosure; secret: private papers; a private communication.
c. Not appropriate for use or display in public; intimate: private behavior; a private tragedy.

I am not trying to be catty or sarcastic, Private is a very simple word and very clear in meaning so I honestly do not understand how we ended up here at all.

Fact- A lot of people who were in no way affected by HV came to the group. (another mistake that cannot be taken back) From the aftermath It seams to me that some came assuming that the group was similar to other groups on some other "bad seed" companies, some came to be nosey, and others I don't know maybe they like to see drama. Some of these people were invited in by members (I don't speculate the reasons) and some approved by the admins. (another mistake: admins assumed those requesting membership were also affected by HV, no one thought about nosey people. That should not have happened)

Fact- Since there was No statement of purpose and or ground rules people who came in later very easily could have seen the group as catty, mean, bitchy etc. (including my own comments) However I cannot find any comments on any threads (pre-drama) asking the purpose of the group. So anyone who made assumptions without asking questions is as guilty as we are for not thinking to post them. Glass houses people!

Fact- In the storm of shared information people started wanting answers, understandable. So we (myself included) started looking for answers. Is the name given her name? I personally was given 3 different last names. Does this person have criminal history? (she has a lot of these peoples personal and financial information) Are ANY of the tragic things she was telling people true? (many of these people had shared very personal experiences in trust to this person) In searching for answers a lot more lies were discovered and some things that could be very embarrassing to Jasmine. (in hind site those 2 particular things should not have been posted even in the group) I will not defend those things being posted as I've already said it was wrong. However I will say that some of the people now making a big stink about that particular mistake and claiming to be so terribly offended were laughing and poking at that and from my seat did not seam in the least bit offended at the time. Again I will say Glass houses people.

Fact- As lies and deceptions were brought out some people started bringing up formula/product issues, inconsistencies, customer service issues and the like. Now as I said that was/is not the purpose of the group but I think it was a natural progression. People started noticing ingredient discrepancies on same product and color (one persons label listed one set of ingredients & another persons listed different ingredients). I want to say that according to all of the labels and what was on the site before it was closed, there were no unsafe or not approved ingredients listed. Some people were concerned with what might not be listed or if what was listed was truthful. This is were the drama happened. I was not on when it happened. I did read the entirety of the thread before it was removed at the request of a member.

I will not get in to what happened in that situation, I'm not playing the Side taking game.
If you want to read for yourself the actual thread you can do so here
I'm not sure who the writer is but it is an unbiased (from what I can tell) simple begging to end of that issue.
(the post has been removed temporarily to remove peoples pictures)
I am glad to see that the pictures are being removed, that was my only beef with the post.

Fact- Due to an argument/disagreement that took place in a Private group feelings were hurt and tempers flared.
 Some people took that out to public view and discussing it not only publicly but with people who had nothing to do with it. In my opinion your Twitter IS public (even if you have it set to private) unless the ONLY people following your twitter are family and (real life) friends. If you have 200+ people following and therefore can see/read your tweets, that IS public. So as you scold other saying the group isn't private....Pot kettle.

Fact- People offered to email "what happened" to anyone wanting to know.
First for people claiming concern for Jasmines privacy you show no understanding of the word. Second once you have publicly displayed that you have taken a side in other peoples disagreement you are no longer unbiased therefore you are not telling people "what actually happened" you are telling your side only and in a biased view.  You are also perpetuating drama. You can spin that any way you like but to go and draw people not involved into something that is none of their business IS starting, creating and or perpetuating drama. (go on point a finger at me for this post....this is the only public bit I have offered that yes could create drama, though my hope is to end it)

Fact- Some will not let the drama die.
If in fact your only intention is to support a friend in dealing in drama and both parties of said drama have stopped furthering that drama, exactly what kind of support is it to post about the hurtful drama on your own blog? You claim you are not dragging on this drama? A one sided post with 
screen shots of snipits of a conversation and and email where one persons identity is protected but the other is not....is that not creating drama? Posting slanderous statements about a company's owner publicly to people not involved...is that not creating drama? You can call yourself mature and try to portray yourself as an adult but if you act like a teenager on a drama roll wrapped up in an attention high...you are not even close to being mature or grown. If you find that offensive tough, if you were my daughter you would get far worse for the way I have seen you behave while you sit on your high horse trying to convince someone that you are justified. (a tip for when you are grown, if you are justified in your actions,  you won't care who does or doesn't know it) I am not apologetic for my tone on this as this person and others have blatantly lied and twisted things to make one person look bad. Why? Because you are angry over an argument between 2 people who are not you? Because you jumped into an argument and involved yourself...2 days ago? You can't see how wrong and childish that is? Really? I wish I was your Mother because you would know that trying to punish someone out of anger hurts you more than it will ever hurt them. It makes me sad to see women who should be supporting each other and forgiving each other for petty disagreements intentionally waisting their energy on lashing out and trying to hurt others. I will never ever understand that way of thinking.

The rest is my view, opinion what have you.
The 2 people involved had quieted but a few "friends" or acquaintances of one side have relentlessly kept this thing going. People who were not involved were brought it and told one side of a situation that simply is none of their business. Tweets, posts, emails and so forth repeatedly offered and thrown out to anyone who would listen. Call it whatever you want but I see it as no help to your friend or anyone else for that matter.

I am an Indie owner, but I am also a human. If the fact that I own and run a company
to you means I am not allowed to be human and have emotions, views, opinions and friends unless I am locked in my home away from any and all possible customers....I'm sorry but that is absolutely ridiculous!
I run my company, it does not run me! I will voice my opinion without fear of some person disagreeing with me and trying to destroy my lively hood! I will make mistakes both personal and business, in public and private....I am human. I will be the opinionated, weird, sometimes offensive person that I am! I will argue if I feel the subject is worthy, publicly, in front of every customer I have, past , present and future...I will do whatever I as a human see fit to do and I will do it while representing MY company! You and people like you will NOT destroy or damage my business because my business IS people! My customers are people and I treat them like people, I apologise when I make a mistake, I accept their apologise when they do, my customers are not dollar bills to me and they know that because from begging to end I am myself, not a business persona but a real live human person....this is not cold corporate cosmetics where an owner hasn't a clue about their customers and wouldn't give a flying rats ass if you imploded....this is INDIE! Indie is real people who get to know our customers, we make friends with some of them, we even make friends with bloggers who have given us a bad review, we are friends with some of our "competitors", we make bad jokes in public, we rant about things that anger us, we comfort a tweeter pal because she's down, we send a get well gift to a customer in need of a boost.....and if you don't like that please, PLEASE go to retail but don't tell me or any other Indie that we are wrong for being a person because like it or not we are and as much as all this has pissed me off, if you were in need I would still have a hug for you!
Indie is amazing because we are just people making beautiful things for other people!

~Your EvilAngel


*On my blog, rudeness and hate is not allowed! I do not normally moderate my comments but due to the amount of hurt already suffocating us, I will be moderating my comments for a bit.

38 comments:

  1. I feel so awful about how badly youve been hurt by this whole issue. I still completely support your company and will continue to purchase products from it. I hope everything gets sorted out.

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  2. When I get off at 5pm, I no longer represent my company.  Indie owners need time to be themselves, too.  Anything else is incredibly unfair.  Also, I love you something fierce, just so's you know. ;)

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  3. Thanks for your thoughts! I still respect you as a business owner and will still continue to shop with you regardless of your opinion! I like how you shared th facts here. I was added to the facebook page by another blogger. I chose to remove myself earlier today because I have not dog in the fight and didn't need to be evesdropping in just for the hell of it. I understand that everyone has an opinion about the situation, I'm just trying to stay out of it. But if people are having issues with their orders or products, I do feel it its right to share that facts with us so we know there may be a problem with ordering from that specific company. Thanks for your thoughts!

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  4. Sarah TyrchniewiczAugust 9, 2011 at 11:17 PM

    I think you could use the *hug* right now so {{{{HUG}}}} And also, just so you know, I've been wearing your products for the last 3 days and am getting a bunch of compliments from co-workers. Yes that will be going into my next review because it's the truth. *smooch* You rock!

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  5. Thank you for taking your blog as an outlet to vent your frustration in this issue. It is YOUR blog, and you should do what ever you need to to make/keep yourself happy! Thank you for remembering that we "your followers" will always be "here" when you need to talk =P
    I love you! Then again I have "known" you for a couple of yeard already! So we are old friends by now...

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  6. Your straight approach to the situation is fantastic. No frills, no sides. Just facts and honesty. It's appreciated. Even if I disagreed, it is absolutely no reason to discontinue my support. But I do agree and will continue to be a customer. I love indie because of the women(and men) like you that are behind it all! <3

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  7. Just wanted to say (((hugs))).

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  8. I love this & I love you, this is very brave & I applaud you for daring to be a person with feelings *hug*

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  9. Can I just say that I love you? This was brilliant and truthful and I support it 100%. Indie owners are people too, you should be able to say how you feel and what you think just as much as any blogger. It's unfair that people think indie owners can't have an opinion or a disagreement or say something that others disagree with. You should be able to say what you want without getting burned. <3 

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  10. There is not a person in the world more in love than me, with you, at this very moment! :) Haha, but seriously Andrea, I don't think anyone involved in this is a bad person, just seriously misguided. And I think the goal of driving business away from the company in question is failing. I personally have placed my first orders with them AND you this weekend because I have gotten to know you both and respect you as people. Of course I am not going to agree with EVERYTHING you or they do and that would just be weird if that were my criteria for shopping. I would have a lot of extra money because there would be no where for me to spend it!

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  11. I had totally missed all this but I just wanted to say that I really admire that you took the time to talk about what was going on, and I respect and support you as a person and as a business owner.  :]

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  12. I just have to say thank you. Thank you for speaking your mind, and thank you for calling a spade a spade. People may not like it, but that's their problem, not yours.

    (And, frankly, you're not the only one angry with said blogger, but I won't get into that.)

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  13. Really appreciate having a clear and open picture of what's been going on. As a person who has chatted only briefly on twitter with this lady, the posts that had started popping up denouncing her business had looked rather like a 'witch hunt' which upset me. I didn't want to join the group mentioned as I'd never actually got round to buying anything. Thank you xx

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  14. It is a sad day when people gather together in anger in order to vent personal frustrations. Nothing can come from anger but more anger, when will we learn to gather together in support of the positive things? There is already so much hurt, anguish, and sorrow in the world. The last thing it needs is more negativity.

    Good for you for speaking out and calling people on their bullsh*t.

    After all "Let ye who is without sin cast the first stone" right?

    As a Buddhist I still think there are some awesome and pertinent quotes in the BIG book.

    Peace,

    KJ

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  15. Great post. I completely agree with you about how people on the internet forget that they are talking publicly about HUMAN BEINGS. I am all for reviews of companies that are FAIR and POLITE. If someone had problems with a company's customer service or otherwise, posting this in a polite, fair manner is no problem to me. However, people should be careful because they are talking about someone's income and business. There is no need to publicly bring someone's private information out and spread drama if you had a problem with the company. This is one aspect of blogging that I don't like. If you have problems with a company and post about it it's not that big of a deal. If you blow things way out of proportion and start and spreat drama, it is a big deal and I'd love to see this kind of thing stop.

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  16. Well said. People do make mistakes and there have been many heated comments about this. In regards to Jasmine, I believe there is actually a mental condition where people take on other's problems.

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  17. Thank you for sharing your wisdom, Andrea. I think that just because an indie shop owner has a virtual place of business as opposed to a physical one, it doesn't mean they are barred from expressing their opinions off the record throughout the web. When an CEO enters one of his/her stores on their day off & without uniform, this person is indistinguishable from the customers in there so anything said by this CEO that can be considered offensive doesn't reflect company values. 

    I love and admire you for your bravery, standing up for ethical & dedicated businesspeople, and for being a rational & non-partisan voice in this mess <3

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  18. I'm sorry for all the drama. I'm new to the whole blogging thing and community, but I'm always taken aback by the intensity (maybe that's not the right word?) of the drama and how quickly it seems to spread all over the place. It's like a flash fire. I hope you feel better soon and things get handled relatively quickly. 

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  19. Thank you Amanda! I agree, any business owner or employee when "off the clock" is just a person.

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  20. I stay out of these things as much as possible, but there comes a point when people cross a line that I just cannot be silent. Cyber bullies are not to be ignored, they are to be stopped!

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  21. I am all for you and anyone else having their own views and opinions and I appreciate people like you who are clear minded and can see that it's OK to disagree without feeling the need to attack. We can agree to disagree and still appreciate each other.....that's the way I was raised.

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  22. Thank You! I feel sorry for this girl, honestly she doesn't show any ability to allow others to have an opinion and even more sad to me personally is her hypocrisy and lies. She's hurting herself and appears so unaware. I want to hug it out of her.

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  23. Thank You, I'm glad you missed it all. You are better off!

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  24. Jessi, I kinda love you too!
    I don't expect or want anyone to agree with me all the time, I just wish people could see that it's OK to disagree but it should not be taken to a level of defaming, slandering or bullying. I can disagree graciously and without feeling the need to force others to agree with my view or by punished and name called. I hope others can learn this as they grow.

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  25. We are old friends love and I appreciate you and all of my readers for being here!

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  26. Sarah you know I'm always in need of hugs!

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  27. Maybe one day blogging will manage to remove the drama. I hope for that to come soon!
    P.S. You are awesomeness!

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  28. Thank You! I am a passionate person and though I might get hurt more often by what I see is cruelty, I wouldn't change that part of me as I think it makes me more considerate of others. I'd rather be hurt than hurt others!

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  29. Stephanie, this is exactly why I have always had such respect for you! You are a very special person and I'd bet your karma is beautiful!

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  30. I won't speculate on Jasmines mental state, however I'm sure there must be some issue and I hope she will seek help. No one deserves to suffer in mental illness.

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  31. I agree, it made no sense to bring things that were not a part of the issue into it. And I hope people will recognize the wrong in doing so. I wish more uninvolved people had your character & had not "butted in". I know I have learned from this and will hopefully be able to ensure things are done differently if the need comes again. (I hope it never does)

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  32. Love, I will email you the information I have on the actual product/business issues. I don't feel comfortable posting on it since I personally have never ordered from her and my dealings were based in other matters.

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  33. Honestly? Her behavior makes me think she hasn't outgrown a middle school mentality yet. Everything I have seen from her in the last week reeks of "Look at me guys, look at me! Hey, over here! Look at me! Are you looking yet? Look at meeeeee!"

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  34.   Good God.  Since I was outside of this drama I thought at first that I would try a couple of her lip products when she cleaned up her act.   Now I'm not so eager with all this lying and deliberate attempts to ruin someone else's business.  I'm glad I never bought anything from this person.

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Please comment, I love hearing from you all! XOXO