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Shame on you! Respect is the only "R" word that should be thrown around!

I just read a post on another blog that sickened me to the core!
Normally I will not say who it is when these things happen but in this instance I am going to name names and point fingers because I'm pissed off and this is wrong on every level!
Shame on you TheManicuredManatee Shame and how dare you!
I have un followed and will NOT visit that blog again.

You think using the word retarded is funny? No it is not! You say that because you "had" a mentally challenged family member you have the right to use that word as much as you want, and in a derogitory manner no less. Well you Miss are very WRONG! If you truly did have a family member that was mentally challenged you of all people should be more sensitive and respectful.

My opinion is that the word Retarded is used in a rude, hatefilled,and derogatory manner as ofter or more so than the "N" word, the word faggot, and so many others. Why? Why can't you use your mind and heart and be respectful even in humor? Do you find it funny to see a child with Down syndrom cry? You must if that word is so hillarious. Is it funny for a 16 year old homosexual to commit suicide? Sure laugh it up while YOU slip the noose around his neck.
 Oh they are just jokes you say...No they are words that can hurt and you have no right to blatantly disregard the feelings of other humans! Not under any circumstances, including a so called joke!

Oh and so Miss Manatee, so you say I'm a Biotch because I am in your words "overly sensative"?
I will be a straight up BITCH when you use hate and then lazily excuse it saying that YOU have some secret right to hurt others and be disrespectful.


r-word.org

No one has a right or reason to throw around hurtful words or to use derogatory words as a joke!

Some people are saying oh maybe she's going through something or she has issues and we should cut her some slack!
NO, no effin' way should we cut her or anyone any slack for being hurtfull toward an entire group of humans.
I'm going through things...you want the list? I still manage to treat others with respect and to not ignorantly throw around derogitory words to get a cheap laugh on my blog.

People be responsible, especially fellow bloggers, be respectful and be considerate!
I encourage you all to stand up for those who cannot stand up for themselves!
Refuse to read hate, demand respect and call people on it when they do not!

I think I'm done but I'm not promising!

62 comments:

  1. Easy, Peasy, Breezy, MeMarch 3, 2010 at 1:39 PM

    Thanks for this. As someone who has been the victim of a hate crime, I applaud you.

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  2. Preach it sista!

    I actually have a fond memory of punching a guy in middle school while we were at the bus stop cause he was making fun of his sister who had down syndrome. Man that punch felt good!

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  3. I had never heard of that particular blog, so I took a look. I read a few posts, and they all had a negative complaining vibe about them. Reading it was actually giving me a headache. Kudos to you for taking a stand against discrimination.

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  4. I'll admit that when I read her post, I wasn't as offended as you. I felt that she used the word distastefully but I wasn't extremely bothered by it. I respect that you have stood up for your beliefs and called her out on it. I think that people tend to give themselves easy outs for distasteful and unintelligent remarks and that has to stop. Bravo! for this refreshing post. It's posts like this that give me faith that there are great human beings on this planet.

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  5. I'm glad that you stood up for what you believe in. I respect you for it.

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  6. I'm glad you stood up for yourself, and said something, but at the same time I am refreshed to see that she removed the offensive material AND kept up your comment. Hopefully the event will raise awareness.

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  7. I would be more refreshed if she wasn't still denying anything wrong. She stated on mua nail board that she took it down because she did not want to argue but she is not apolagetic nor does she see anything wrong with it. :(

    I wish awareness wasn't still an issue! Someday...hope!

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  8. I didn't read the post, but I don't think I'd care to. Thank you for standing up for what is right and more importantly, for something you believe in. There are many cruel things in this world, and words are certainly one of them. It breaks my heart to see people made fun of, especially special needs ones. They never asked to be that way and they can't control or change it. My daughter is severely mentally impaired, so maybe I'm more sensitive to such issues because of that, but either way, it's wrong to be mean to anyone.

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  9. You are absolutely right! I am with You in this.

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  10. Mary,
    Hurtfull words are ones that are best left unspoken!
    Hugs

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  11. I might be an easily offended person, I'm not sure. I just know that if she had replaced the R word with the N word not one person would be anything less than disgusted. I think all hurtfull words should be kept to ones self.

    Just my opinion

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  12. I would have punched him too probably lower than the face. ;)

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  13. Hugs
    I am shocked that hate crimes still happen!
    I just don't get it!

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  14. To you as well! :-D

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  15. Props for standing up for what you believe in.

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  16. I didn't get to read the post as it's gone. Whatever it is, I don't think it's at all nice to be using such words so loosely. Like Mary said, people don't ask to be born the way they are. If they are special, all the more they should be treated with extra love and respect. If people aren't good at something, that doesn't mean they are retarded either. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses. You did great with this post.

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  17. People aren't going to agree with me, but I don't agree on calling her out in this manner.

    It could have been handled a little more quietly and the same thing would have been achieved. She removed the comments from her posting due to people being offended and it's gone now and I'm sure she, and others, will think twice about using words that can cause such reactions.

    Many, many people are guilty of using similar words everyday, I am guilty of it too.

    I'm sorry Angel, but in this case I can't back it up. I hate those words too but I think this has gotten too far out of hand. *DONT_KNOW*

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  18. Actually she stated on MUA that she removed the post because she didn't want to argue and that she does not think it's wrong.

    So I don't believe that quietly would do a bit of good.
    Sometimes you have to yell at the top of your lungs so that those around the person doing wrong can hold them accountable because no matter what you say to the wrong do'er they only hear themself.

    I hope that makes sense. Generally I would have privatly emailed but after reading a lot of angry posts I realised that this person is not receptive to reason. She stated that people like myself are "Biotches" for being "overly sensitive". Sadly She needs to be called out in to the light of day to see her reflection.

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  19. It was disappointing to read that post. And the new one... There seems to be a lot of anger and hate in her. I hope she'll find some piece and positive way of thinking.

    I can't agree with Skulda. It's not something that she blabbed...she had to type it and she had the opportunity to re-read the post and then hit the post button. You gotta show a little respect. But hey, it's her own blog, so...

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  20. I agree and as responsiblr people we can choose to be a part of it or not.

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  21. Yeah I saw it. Well, I saw the enormous wall of text that made my eyes bleed.
    I just see this entire situation of you calling her out, and now it seems like hundreds of women here in cyber space are in a fury. The hate is being thrown everywhere. What started as a message of understanding is now only massive shit storm.
    No one seems to be wording anything in a way that isn't toxic and making it worse. =-X

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  22. Props, Evil, for taking a stand, too many people sit on the fence of issues they feel strongly about just because they don't want to offend one side or the other. It takes balls to stick up for your opinion, and I applaud that. The word does occasionally slip from my mouth, but this post reminded me to be more mindful. I took care of a little girl with severe cerebral palsy from the time she came home from the hospital, and it would kill me if someone or myself said anything that hurt her. Lesson Learned, for myself, and kudos to you

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  23. I think that I probably skimmed that post and left a comment about the polish or something, I tend not to read her posts all of the way through because they tend to be negative. Thank you for standing up on this issue, if I had read that she used that word I would have been very upset. In fact I am upset! I find it very dissappointing that she feels no remorse for her remark.

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  24. I've read somewhere that she had a great blog( very funny), now I see why.
    Personally don't agree with that type of humor, I am sure others willl.
    Freedom of speech is a treasure to be used in a more wise manner.
    I did like GA , just escape the negative rambling and admire the pics ^_^

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  25. I have no idea what has gone on here but, as the mother of a child with special needs, it breaks my heart to see them made fun of. It's something I deal with everyday. As if it's not hard enough to raise a special needs child, without having to deal with society's mockery of their disabilities.

    Like I said, I don't know precisely what has gone on, and I quite love the Manicured Manitee for her humour, but thank you for standing up for kids like mine. It's people like you that enrich his life and allow him to reach for the stars, because you accept them the way they are. :)

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  26. My godchild (8 yr) has the Fragile X-syndrome, he is special and he is a wonderful caring little person, he makes me see things in a different perspective.
    The r-word only applies to people who have a single-minded view and don't see the unique features in every person. I don't think you should give those people so much attention, maybe that's just what they wanted and they don't deserve that.

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  27. ~Elizabeth aka Lacquered LizardMarch 3, 2010 at 6:39 PM

    While I accept your feelings on this and even agree with what you are trying to say, I disagree with the way you handled this.

    I've been a follower of your blog long enough to know you could have done better had you waited til you weren't so upset about it.

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  28. What about the word "lame"? It seems that the word retard is becoming more and more commonly accepted in modern society as a non derogatory word. I'm not supporting the usage of the word retard other than original intent to "categorize" (sorry, i couldnt find a less harsh way of saying it) people with mental disabilities. I try to refrain my usage of "lame" and "retard/ed" and kick myself when i do, but being brought up in a society where it is okay to say it makes it hard to watch what i say. And as for the word lame, its original intent was to describe people who have limps or cannot walk "properly". In this day and age that meaning is fading, especially for the younger generations. I think that you are taking a bit too far. People say stupid things and people are raised up differently. Maybe where she is from it is okay, or she just had a lapse of judgment. I'm not supporting the usage, but the times ARE changing, and along with that society and its rules.

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  29. I have no idea which particular post is being talked about.
    But when people use this kind of insensitive language, it really angers me, it seriously does. I do know a couple of children with special needs, and the are the some of the sweetest kids I've ever seen, cuz they're mind has not and cannot be polluted like most of the people out there.
    It's high time people think twice before they express something, to avoid hurting some1's feelings.

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  30. hi E.A. I am a long time reader of your blog, and agree with your position. I teach at a university, and one of my students used the r word in a presentation about a hypothetical patient. I didn't call him out in front of the class, but in his written feedback, I pointed the use of the word out to him, and while it wouldn't affect his mark, he should watch his language in the future. He was ashamed, and I think he got the point. Do what you have to to get the point across!

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  31. In that situation I would have handled it as you did, quietly and privately. I'm sure that student will remember to think about the words he writes.

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  32. I understand and agree. We are responsible for our words and think before we speak/write.
    I try very hard to do so and I am human and I'm sure have/will mess up from time to time but not with that kind of term.

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  33. I understand your point and agree to a degree. The origional meaning of the word Lame and the way it is used in at least the slang I have been around are not the same. The way lame is used now is pretty broad in my experiance and genery refers to someones dislike for something, not in refrence to a disability or ones phyisical imparement.

    The post was very clear in that she knew that it was not appropriate to use the term retarded but she did not care and so to me that is intentional and blatant disregard for others and not just a minor oops of language.
    The state of Florida would probably say that the use of that word in the derogitory manner it was used multiple times is not acceptable there either.
    I can't speak for anyones raising but as a parent I work hard to teach my children to be respectful, considerate and understanding of human differences. My 5 and 8 year olds know that words like that are not acceptable. They are not allowed to use the word stupid and are encouraged to think and find a nicer word to describe their feelings.

    You just reminded me of a phrase that I started using with my now 20 year old and has become a reaction to say... "Only stupid people use the word stupid. Intelligent people are intelligent enough to be more considerate."
    P.S. Kyrstin can pop in on this if she happens to read it and attest to my intolerance of negative language. I am guilty of using some but I try to correct myself and will absolutly admit and apologise when I do slip.

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  34. I wish you were right Elizabeth but there are certain subjects that I lose all diplomacy on and my Blackfoot temper get's the best of me no matter how I try not to allow it.

    This is one of those subjects and I apologise if my passion seems a bit much. As you know I am not very good at sitting quietly in a corner when I feel strongly about something.

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  35. The power of the network to spread the word of Respect!
    :-D

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  36. Your are probably right, I should not give attention to that person.
    I do want the light to be shown on the wreckless use of words and I get a bit overly passionate at times.

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  37. If I could pull the stars out of the sky for little ones like yours I would, they deserve as much love and respect as we can give them!

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  38. She does have I right to speak freely, I do agree with that.

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  39. I suppose I could take a lesson from you. I should learn to dismiss some people, unfortunatly I have yet to master that ability. ;)

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  40. Thank you lovie!

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  41. ~Elizabeth aka Lacquered LizardMarch 3, 2010 at 9:37 PM

    I would never suggest anyone sit quietly in a corner...I am saying something like the old saying: "Two wrongs don't make a right." Check your temper, get past the emotion and then say what you have to say intelligently and Respectfully. (if you're gonna talk the talk...)

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  42. This is my first comment to you, though I have been a reader for a while and unfortunately it's not a hooray comment. I have a special needs child and there are many in my life and I don't take offense to the word. YOU and I give words power...there are no bad words in the English language. I watched a woman get jumped on for posting somewhere that she got a valentine from "a lovely special needs child". She meant to express that as a special needs child it was a huge gesture for him. There was nothing derogatory in her words and yet offense was taken on special needs.
    I have a theory...if you take offense in something then the trouble is within you. I have a gay (used as a descriptive not derogatory word)
    brother in law and another family member took a forwarded email from me and turned it around saying I was trying to offend the gay man. It is because the family member is trying to be soooo supportive and prove he is okay with the "whole gay thing" that he blew it out of proportion. If you have to jump up and down screaming I support something then you need acknowledgment for it instead of being a quiet humble supporter. I read in earlier comments that you are standing up for those who can't...I call bullshit. Just because someone is mentally challenged or special needs doesn't mean they can't stand up for themselves. I know many people who are special who have been called retarded to their face and have dealt with it proudly and strongly. My own 6 year old son was called retarded and he looked at the offender and said, yeah, I have needs but your stupid.

    The word fag is another word for cigarettes, gay is another word for happy, black is a color on a chart, lame is another word for something cheezy and retarded is another word for stupid.....

    Insensitive to those who are sensitive, yes....Directly harming and offensive to an entire group of people that you seem to have labeled "retarded", no.
    People with needs aren't any less smart than you and I so they aren't retarded....as someone else said earlier, words start with one meaning and evolve into something else.

    I think this situation is retarded
    (oh yes I did!) because it's stupid for grown adult women to get their panties in such a twist. If you don't like what a writer writes, don't read it...if you don't like what is on tv, turn it off...if you don't like what a radio dj has to say, change the station. You are free to yell and jump up and down at what she wrote but she is free to write what she wants.
    Be an adult and walk away rather than stirring the shit and riling up a hangin' mob.

    That said, I disagree with you but I respect your opinion and I firmly expect you to do the same...I will continue to come to your blog because your content is "there" for me...I will continue to go to her's as well for the same reason.

    I might not have come across with cohesive thoughts because I was running with other thoughts but I stand behind my words.

    That being said....I can't wait to see what you have for us next.

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  43. I was agreeing that I should calmly speak on this, but for some reason I just can't. A flaw in my personality I guess. (One of many flaws)

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  44. Heather / EyeconicMarch 3, 2010 at 10:22 PM

    I really hate when people use this word, as much as I hate when people say faggot :/ I have an uncle who is mentally retarded and I find it extremely offensive when people use it in such a way. I actually was a follower of that blog, and felt kind of uncomfortable when I read that, but didn't unsubscribe. But after seeing how rude she was to you, that really makes me just not want to read anything she says anymore. What a shame.

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  45. First of all, you rock-thank you so much for posting this. You know I have to admit, I never actually read her blog, I just looked at the pictures. I get so caught up in the pretty colors and sparkles, that I can't believe I followed and had her on my blog roll. Thanks for pulling her covers and taking a stand!

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  46. its good to know that you raise your children well, and i hope that my comment didnt offend you. I was just trying to introduce another point of view

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  47. I hadn't read the post your speaking about. I'm glad I didn't. Words do hurt and they're something that never goes away. Makes me very sad when people are so insensitive. Especially when one has a member of their family who's mentally challenged. Do you think her Mother would be pleased to read that post? I think you'd better take the "Evil" away from your name. Replace it with "Sweet". (((big hugs & kisses)))

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  48. Your comment did not offend me at all! I appreciate different views

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  49. I completely commend you for your outspokenness. But, at this point I think what's done is done. What's said is said. You stated your case, she stated hers. It's obvious that there are going to people siding with her, and siding with you. My mom always taught me, "If something bothers you, it's dumb to sit there and take it. You need to say something so that you feel better. Whether or not the other person listens and learns is their own decision." I feel that you've done your piece. I'm in no position to say what's right or wrong. But I do agree that not just the ManicuredManatee, but people everywhere need to watch what they say and need to be more considerate of others. You are obviously someone who stands her own and speaks her mind. I hope bringing this issue to the attention of many conscientious readers has given you some peace. =] Once again, I applaud you for your bravery and for stating your opinion. But, it is each and every individual persons decision what they choose to read, hear, speak, do, etc. I always try to make sure what I do and what I say will reflect myself in a positive way. Unfortunately not everyone does that. Blogging is an activity. Not a job. If the ManicuredManatee chooses to continue using such derogatory terms then so be it. That's her choice. We don't have to read it. =] Once again, kudos to you. I highly doubt many people have the courage to post what you just did.

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  50. Hi Evil Angel: I did read the post and it made me cringe. I wondered how much farther she was going to go. I didn't find it funny at all. She was starting to sound like Howard Stern with a few pics of nail polish inserted in between rants. Somebody needed to yell in her face because speaking quietly to her wasn't going to help, because she wasn't going to listen. She sounds like a very angry person.

    Thanks Evil Angel

    Marsha S. (a/k/a heisey123 on Nail Board)

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  51. Kudos to speaking out loud. I think that some things tend go under the radar if it's accompanied with pretty pictures and in the long run, it means we're accepting it.

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  52. I understand and agree. We are responsible for our words and think before we speak/write.
    I try very hard to do so and I am human and I'm sure have/will mess up from time to time but not with that kind of term.

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  53. hi E.A. I am a long time reader of your blog, and agree with your position. I teach at a university, and one of my students used the r word in a presentation about a hypothetical patient. I didn't call him out in front of the class, but in his written feedback, I pointed the use of the word out to him, and while it wouldn't affect his mark, he should watch his language in the future. He was ashamed, and I think he got the point. Do what you have to to get the point across!

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  54. I've read somewhere that she had a great blog( very funny), now I see why.
    Personally don't agree with that type of humor, I am sure others willl.
    Freedom of speech is a treasure to be used in a more wise manner.
    I did like GA , just escape the negative rambling and admire the pics ^_^

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  55. Props, Evil, for taking a stand, too many people sit on the fence of issues they feel strongly about just because they don't want to offend one side or the other. It takes balls to stick up for your opinion, and I applaud that. The word does occasionally slip from my mouth, but this post reminded me to be more mindful. I took care of a little girl with severe cerebral palsy from the time she came home from the hospital, and it would kill me if someone or myself said anything that hurt her. Lesson Learned, for myself, and kudos to you

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  56. Hugs
    I am shocked that hate crimes still happen!
    I just don't get it!

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  57. Thanks for this. As someone who has been the victim of a hate crime, I applaud you.

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Please comment, I love hearing from you all! XOXO